Just one out of billions.
Thoughts. Emotions. Life.

♥jaѕмiиe.
Y,011088.
Learning to live and love every single day.

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samantha angel serene eva william daniel jennie lauren joseph amanda ej weikang evelyn felicia stephanie timothy nicholas

see.ThruMyEyes :)

bLoGz~! scarRy inFo~
Monday, June 28, 2004, 6/28/2004 11:37:00 pm ♥

ehohz~! i feel so annoyin.. n no respect for anyone..
i dun think i hav any manners.. mb it comes with the guilt..
that i take n nv giv... bad feelin.. not a gd one i can say.. lol

anyway how was ur day today? hope it was great~! lol..
i nv seem to get any work done in sch.. thn when im bak home.. cant be bothered.. but thn i still do it.. lol... me s0o tired n0w.. goin t0o get eyebags baggys~! lol.. lala... well.. lets see wat to do.. ( eek my ears bleedin ) i loose so much blood a month its not funny.. lol..

oh yea.. me wan to share a piece of info.. quite important..
i believe in god.. n ther are many stories of evil ( the work of satan ) that ive heard of.. n jus tellin u.. they are real.. kinda scary to think of it.. last time when i was in yr 6 .. my friend had a slpover rite.. n thn i dunno how it happened.. but thn we were startin a cult.. u kno how u hav to do somethin like painful or somethin and swear to this cult thingy ( ur own religion ).. yea.. well we did that.. n the day after that.. i was so into it.. i started researchin about spells n witchcraft on the internet.. scary rite? i was young, stupid, weird.. aha.. thn i was told to get out of the cult by my auntie.. i mean.. i thot it wasnt that bad.. like we were onli playin around.. but she was realli serious.. it was lucki that she stopped me.. can u imagine if i did those stuff.. eekii.. i would hav been .. i dunwanna think about it.. scares me..

n thn umm in yr 9 i was in this youth group n realli scary stories were told.. these are true... the story was about i think a girl she was on her bed rite.. n thn she felt somethin on her.. pushin her.. thn the whole bed started to shake.. n as u kno well mb u dunno.. but my imagination goes realli wild.. n yea.. u could imagine how i reacted.. i was realli realli scared.. it was said that she ordered the spirit to go by the name of god n the devil realli went away.. the room was bak to normal.. dun u think its scary? im feelin realli uncomfortable now..

n today i wont mention names but a same sorta thingy happened.. this girl was at a slpover n they tried out the glass-movin thingy.. to surprise it worked.. n realli strange things hav happened.. haix.. ther's evil greater thn the human behaviours in this world... so please be careful.. oweis kno that god is ther for u n he will oweis protect u no matter wat.. bless u~

sowi to bring that up.. its realli creeping me now.. hmm.. well.. i dun think i can go to slp tonite but will try.. yea.. =) take care ok?! god bless u~!




life is a ruler
Sunday, June 27, 2004, 6/27/2004 11:35:00 pm ♥

life nowadays.. quite borin.. i feel like the world is purposeli passin time so slowli for me... lookin into the future.. do i hav a future? im usualli not so pessimistic.. wat is realli happenin? i dunno.. is life realli a game? i dun realli believe in that.. i refuse to... every life is here for a purpose..

thinkin thru the future n not the present.. ive oweis done that... was also called a person who lived in a fantasy world... if i think thru my life.. friends.. they were oweis ther.. i was the one who separated from thm... oweis the one who leaves thm... with nothin... three times ive done that... hopefulli wont again..

i miss singapore~... today (homework again) u kno that singapore is the safest place to be.. for me that is.. not onli because of the people ther.. but oso because ther isnt much radiation in the environment.. so cool.. lol.. i put my answer for wat would u suggest to prevent havin problems from radiation.. " go live in singapore " take the advice man... ever since i migrated to aus.. when people ask me which country i prefer.. it oweis goes bak to singapore... i was born ther, lived ther most of my life, had many memories ther, found love ther, had close friends and i feel my life is still ther.. i'll leave it ther if i had the choice... physicalli that is.. if i had the chance to go bak at least once a year or every holiday (like we used to) life would be so much happier.. free from more stress n waitin..

hopefulli i'll go bak at the end of the year.. people believe i will.. perhaps i should believe wif thm too rite? but y do i hav this feelin i wont be able to go bak no matter wat? the fact that my mums a stubborn gal mb? my results are gd.. im omost a straight A student.. jus made it actualli.. does that proof anythin? does she kno im doin great.. does she kno i want to go bak so badli?.... cryin doesnt help anymore.. its like they dun wan to come out.. they want to stay wher they belong.. jus like i wan to stay... bak in singapore...

the other day i was imaginin how it was to jump off a tall buildin.. n when i realised.. i snapped out of it.. it scared me... y m i thinkin of these things? m i sick of .. im probabli sick of myself.. all i do is like prob a daili routine.. list five things u do evryday.. well umm..
1. study
2. study
3. study
4. lets see.. study?
5. study??

nahh.. im jus exaggerating.. but thats wat i feel like wat my life revolves around.. evn people agree with me.. i do hav a borin life... i blame myself.. i chose it.. but if it doesnt proof anythin n it doesnt get me to my desired location in life.. wats the use of it.. is this her plan? isit? if it is.. it realli hurts... she doesnt trust me.. doesnt kno how much its leavin a mark..

n one thing.. is gettin a high score actualli worth anythin.. geez stressin over a number.. might jus kill urself becoz of a test score.. u kno if parents dun stress their kids so much.. the percentage of suicide would decrease tremendousli... no one would actualli think of suicide nemore... thn after suicide u would regret.. coz mb in the future u would hav had so much more fun..

--------------------------------------------
If you're not the one
DANIEL BEDINGFIELD
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know whatthe future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

--------------------------------------------

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

so far away yet i can feel u evryday... u are evrywher... especialli in the silence.. wher thers the bakgrnd of others tokin but onli... the thoughts remain real..

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

life is a ruler.. measured by evry one millimeter.. every sec u live... it's the way u live it... its how the ruler is treated... if it breaks.. it can oweis continue even tho its broken.. it goes on... the markings are real.. its already ther.. u cant change it... if ur sad dissapointed.. ther is oweis a path.. a path u can take.. jus live on.. its an adventure u make... fill it with the best memories u face.. dun let the cause of the break stand in ur way...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
flashbacks:- technique used to portray the past..
===================================================

walkin - bright - sun - flowers - smell - sweet - buildings - traffic lights - cars - roads - trees - grass - stairs - signs - escalator - gift shop - entrance - machines - open - smile - not alone... - ????

guess wher the place is.. lol..

anyway i think i better go slp.. if u read this.. which i think.. not many people so thats ok... thnx for readin it neway.. nice to kno that someone is ther to read.. god bless u n takecare ok ^-^ i miss.. haix... stay happi peoples~! hugs =)




yAwnZz~***
Friday, June 18, 2004, 6/18/2004 10:52:00 pm ♥

stars~
starlight starbright first star i see tonite.. wish i may wish i mite first wish i wish tonite: - evwybody dancin in the moonlite~

how come songs keep comin out man.. lol.. oh wells~
first wish i would wish for.. most ppl kno.. lol
help me ~! im goin to die from lovesick~ wahhh~~ *cries*
chocolate wont help this time~ okok.. let me start from today wakeup bahh

nowadays wake up oweis late.. thn walk to sch is speed walk.. lol.. umm.. first lesson boring lah.. oweis tokin about sch one.. main thing that happen.. ish i was radiatin last lesson in human bio~ i was told i was major pink~ thats all i kno.. thn i felt very hot too.. thnkuxjessica~! for ur pressi.. that butterfly bracelet was co0l~! n oso oso the gums~! hehe.. nice tastin~ i din swallow it dun worry haha..

another day amandas mummy provide me with food.. today is pasty n meat pie~ it was yumm yumm~! thnkuz amanda n auntie~! walkin home today not so sian bah.. but thn i forgot to go to the shoppin centre after kumon to meet my uncle~ well.. so i walk home ler thn jack( stepdad's nephew) drive the car bak up to the shoppin centre~

neck pain ler arhh~ today i played ddr~! lol im gettin worst.. haha.. not surprised... kekeke.. i oso watched shrek 2 on vcd~ thnx gerri~! aww.. it was such a nice movie~ ( i realli need to go toilet now..) now i kno y weikang like shrek so much~ it has a realli nice story line~ very touchin~ yupsh ^-^ lol.. anyway.. i'll go now.. nothin else to tok about.. lala... takecare peeps~ stay happi k~ smiling~!

dreamer gaul~




the meaning is..
Tuesday, June 15, 2004, 6/15/2004 10:10:00 pm ♥

walk home today from kumon very extra loneli.. thn think alot.. half aslp oso..
mrs mayes tried to hav a conversation.. guess wat.. no gd.. my jap gettin worst liao.. memory oso lost.. i was almost goin to slp in class thn she ask "want to read" thn i "orh... ok", remember that hayai is fast ok~ >.< see i teachin jap here too.. ha.. ha..

zZzZz.. today realli siao liao.. jienni was excitin over somethin thn accidentalli hit my file drop.. thn at first i thot.. oh must be i slpy or somethin.. thn she say "oh no~ u goin to cry?" thn dunno y i got abit angry inside nah.. was surprise she said that.. make me feel like i cry over small things.. but realli i cry over small things norh.. so i was wrong to even feel angry.. haix..

oh yahhh~ i did a BMI test in human bio recentli.. n my weight is acceptable~! wahh.. soo happi.. lol.. i thot i overweight.. haha.. but thn i soo short.. 159cm onli.. lol.. yupshii.. yupsh yupsh.. ish happy news~ keke.. lol

i go ler.. ~ evrybody smile smile~ takecarezzz zZzZzzz




another day with mee >.<
Friday, June 11, 2004, 6/11/2004 10:26:00 pm ♥

i did a heart quizzi

gold heart
Heart of Gold


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

yupshi~ how ish evwybody ? hope evryone is goin thru life okayli~ okayy now for my life story on this very day... hehe.. that doesnt sound rite.. but oh well.. lol.. okok.. today.. wakeup.. i think i had a weird dream about hmm.. cant remember.. lol okok.. wakeup ler.. today ish free dress day~ hehe.. today physics practical test was quite easy.. lol.. but scalli easy kenah bad mark thn tiewlian orh.. lol.. coz i wasnt sure oso.. kekeke.. ok.. first lesson.. english.. watchin "threat matrix" arh.. about crime n all that.. quite interestin de.. now analysin tv drama.. but hav to read a novel for next semester.. tell u the truth.. not very easy for me to read book de.. hardli read.. so read.. ish quite slow norh.. ( like my chem teacher says " tell someone who cares " lol.. ) anyway, if ur readin my blogs.. means u care orh.. haha... jk lah.. ok wher was i.. yups..

thn after english, we hav tute~ jienni was outside class waitin.. coz she got flexi~ hehe.. no wonder at the beginnin of class i din see her in class.. i mean the whole class was missin.. lol.. thn i remember she told me she got flexi.. abit slow.. lol.. okok.. thn we go tute ler.. mr.fung say he gd at maths n maths is easy lah blablabla.. haha.. nah duh.. he maths teacher mah.. lol.. funny teacher.. >.< was my broz teacher b4.. hehe.. okokok thn after tute is umm wat isit arh.. oh yah.. intro calc.. introcalc me n jien do alot of work in that lesson man.. usualli we nv do work one oweis tokin .. lol.. today a change bah.. after that ish recess ler~! lol.. jienni buy me popcorn~! yay~! lol.. i payin her bak tho.. if not feel bad.. hmm.. okii.. thn after recess is 3 science in a row.. lol.. first is the physics lor..

nothin much in physics.. the practical test.. somethin like find critical angle of the semi circle prism.. yah..

chemistry was next~ we do experiment.. i nv do nething de.. =x.. they oweis do thn i take the results.. no wonder my report oweis in the participation n co-operation column.. oweis satisfactory onli.. lol.. oh well.. experiment.. play with lighter.. lol.. collect the butane gas.. chou chou~! smell like petrol.. thn our percentage error.. haha.. 100.06% .. keke.. okk after chem ish lunch ler..

mrs mckinnon carryin balloon.. thn tammi wanted thn i tell her.. " ok i help u take~!" thn i run after the teacher thn tammi oso run with me .. haha.. orange balloon leh.. i oso want.. lol.. but thn got to the teacher.. she say.. " ohh onli for top raisin for 40hr famine" thn im like "aww" thn tammi so cute "ya, i m" thn the teacher "realli, wats ur name" haha.. thn tammi smile ler "nono... lol.." oh wells... it was worth the chance~ hehe.. (ok that doesnt make sense )

after lunch last HUMAn bIoLogY~ lol.. still goin through our exam paper.. haix.. i dunwan to see ler.. i did quite well for it.. 85% thats prob my highest score bah.. english exam jus pass .. 54.5% .. lol.. happy i pass~! I WANNA GO SINGAPORE~! jevina always reads my mind.. evrytime~ lol.. thn i'll be like how u kno.. thn she will say.. " thats all u ever think of " haix..

but thn ive been receivin calls like askin me when i'll be goin bak to singapore.. thats such a great feeling.. the possibiliti of being ther.. first was my uncle.. he was askin when i was goin bak becoz we moved house again in singapore.. toa payoh.. apparentli its a very nice house.. n its a new apartment.. yupsh.. thn he's like ok i tell mummy you want to come bak.. lol.. thn next phone call quite recent.. from my daddy.. he was askin when we were comin.. n thn he asked if evrybody was alright n nothin much after but he still asked... coz b4 he didnt evn want me to come bak accordin to my grandma.. yea.. so thats realli gd~ lol..

ok.. after human bio.. ish after sch ler~! got kumon~.. i din finish my hw.. so toml realli hav to catchup.. me ish like 5 days behind hw.. =x umm.. thn after kumon ( oh yah i hav this song stuck in my head.. lol.. jienni n me hav it stuck.. lol.. the pokemon song, pokemon songs are nice ok~! ) after kumon.. my ama's mum gav me food.. second time ler.. so nice~! [ im oweis given food =( ] coz on tuesday rainin thn her mum oso take me home.. thn she gimme a tupperware of pasta bologne.. it was yummy.. today she gave me a pizza pie and a ham n vege sandwich~ soo yummy.. pie i share with tommy n jerry.. ^-^ i eat the inside giv the crust to tommy n jerry hehe..

thn watch tv until thn online now norh.. hehehe.. u got watch mah.. miriam go into the bigbrother house norh.. yahh.. thn i tell my grandma thn she got interested oso.. keke.. but thn she fell aslp.. >.< snorin.. =x thn i press her nose.. she stop snorin =x lol.. thn she start again.. thn i giv up.. lol.. thn after that i online.. did nothin much.. check email, friendster, hi5, myspace n bloggin now.. chatted to sawah~! now cookerz~ dun chat much now.. so weird.. mb lack of interestin things to tok about.. that is why my orals are soo bad.. communication skills are oledi so bad thats y...

another day.. another way
another song.. another wrong
another feeling.. another laying
another crying.. another weeping
another tear... another dear
another one.. for no other done..

thats jus some cwap i made up.. doesnt make sense does it.. lol.. okii well i go now~
take care oki~ godbless yas~ keep smilin n reach for stars >.<

jienjien ----- wo dui ni you xing xin xing xing xin xing.. hmm xing xin? lol.. u kno wat i mean.. hehe << goes to evryone as well ^-^

love you bibi~




>.<
Tuesday, June 01, 2004, 6/01/2004 08:01:00 pm ♥

0o0o0.. i just did a color quiz~


YELLOW



You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.




Find out your color at Quiz Me!