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Thoughts. Emotions. Life.

♥jaѕмiиe.
Y,011088.
Learning to live and love every single day.

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see.ThruMyEyes :)

Sunday, July 30, 2006, 7/30/2006 08:30:00 pm ♥

meowww ~~~

for the sake of chickns!

bwak bwak bwak BWaK bwak ***


he he he.....




PMS and ur BOdy~
Saturday, July 29, 2006, 7/29/2006 06:21:00 pm ♥

oooo bloggin quite frequentlyyy yay yay.. ! lolx .. neway i was readin liv's blOG.. and got this off her..

How PMS Can Affect Your Body:
Breast Swelling & Tenderness
Abdominal Bloating*
Swollen Ankles, Feet or Hands*
Fluid Retention
Back Pain**
Headache
Migraines
Trouble Sleeping**
Abdominal Cramps**
Low Energy/Fatigue*
Acne Breakouts**
Cold Sores
Constipation/Diarrhea or Nausea*
Appetite Changes and Food Cravings*
Joint or Muscle Pain/Stiffness*
Dizziness*
Sweating
Rapid Heartbeat

How PMS Can Affect Your Emotions:
Moodiness*
Irritability*
Crying Spells**
Feeling Anxious*
Sadness*
Feeling Tense
Disinterest in Daily Activities
Forgetfulness**
Confusion**
Difficulty Concentrating*
Anger/Aggression*
Panic Attacks
Fearfulness/Paranoia**
Difficulty Handling Stress*
Feeling Out of Control*
Decreased Self-Esteem**
Change in Sexual Desire
Withdrawal from Others**

the ones with the *s are my symptoms!!! so bad.. i think i caught it from someone...!!! well tt explains my depression and back pains!! nowadays.. feelingggg soo sooo down nowadays.. which is again sooo sooo bad... its hard when u kno urself but u cant control urself.. tts the hardest thing to do.. consoling urself.. tts y u hav relationships with ppl.. so that when u are in need of help or consoling.. they're ther.. not sayin they're ther onli for tt soul purpose.. but one of thm.. im reallli bored noww... soo im goin to blabber out stuff k..

sometimes i feel that.. im an outkast.. actualli most of the time.. and i lived with jus thinkin tt i m one... but i dunno if i take for granted the ppl who are actually ther for me.. i appreciate them but do i really acknowledge that? mb i expect too much.. my life.. follows the golden rule... "to treat ppl the way u would want to be treated"... four words.. does not always work.. i hav to admit tt in my younger years.. prob due to alienation.. i always wanted to be the perfect friend in everyone's life.. but it sucks realli.. u jus end up feeling like u're being used.. nobody can be perfect neway.. however, i like who i've become.. the ability to understand the different feelings of ppl through observation.. but i dun like many parts of me as well.. mb im self conscious at times.. lived tt way.. so u would expect tt im slowly changing out.. many times i feel like startin my life all over again.. cancel the friends cancel the family cancel everything and start afresh.. but i kno tts impossible.. besides.. im happy with wat i hav atm.. tt is.. mb i want to beliv tt..

sometimes.. nethin good tt happens to me.. they get re-arranged and end up being bad.. i always giv advice like.. look on the brighter side of things.. but sometimes i find myself being a hypocrit.. jus think too much i guess.. we all have our moments of doubt.. we jus choose to express it differentli.. im jus confoose about who i m n wat i feel.. whether its somethin i set myself to do or.. whether it comes out naturally.. i wish i could turn bak the hands on the clock.. i wish ppl can understand wher i stand as a person not as a character in their own lives.. as a human being..

love, xia0-zhen


p.s. dun worry.. its jus the pms tokin... :) takecare ppls




dunno till its gonE..
Thursday, July 27, 2006, 7/27/2006 10:22:00 pm ♥

so wat has bEen happeninG in this benevoleNt lIfe oF minE... is tt evn a word? hAhhaa oh WellS... soooo i went to bOOk my drIvin testo.. and its on the 27th of OCt.. mAny mistakes i learnt... like.. HMm.. not stopping long enough at the stop sign? lolx.. not signallin when im goin out of a round about.. wat else.. HAha.. my parkin and turnin aint tt goOd all the timE either.. hoho.. looks like i need more experience in driVinGg Eheh..

26/7 [[rolanDz bIrtHday - hAPpy biRthDAy!]] uMAt teSt was Orite? mY first section Was a diSaster.. coZ logical thiNKin.. hMM now everyone knows i dun hav tt particular taleNt.. BlUr as Ever.. no coMmon knowleDge at all.. AHha.. so i think i kINDA failEd tt sEcTIon.. nExt tWo sEction were mUch better thn the fiRst.. comPAring to lASt yr.. i THink i did pretTy well.. but i jus really hoPE i can get in.. 6 places onli.. u think i can charm the interviewers ? lolx im jus hoPing.. well i must say it was hard keep readinG and thinkin so mUch.. i wanted to rest my brain a lil bUt.. time is of the essence.. yea overall it was good.. lolx

So after the umaT test it was adam's turn to go.. so we waited for him to go in first thn weNT home n SLePt hoho~ 4.00 wokeUp siaoFui n her auntie camE to pIck me uP to bRing me to TauRus~ first day training~ i cant remember things very well buT i hoPE i get the HAng oF it.. its actualli quite fun nia.. n i think can lose weight oso.. walkin up n down up n down... yUPshx thn most oF thm arE fRienDlyy~ yUPshxx!! hehee

so wat else has hapPeneD... watchEd a new jApanese seriEs cAlled "BeCk".. interesting orh.. about music.. forming a band. got love story oso.. siGhh.. sometimes i wonder wHy bullies piCk on particular pEopLe.. isit the personality tt gets targetted or the looks? pRObably boTh.. they dun kno the impact they hav on people's lives... i wouldnt be as quiet as i m around ppl.. oh wells.. sometimes its a goOd thinG.. realised something.. i dun like being hated or disliked.. evn tho its somethin i hav to accept.. i mean not everyone can love u some will hate u.. only now i realise tt its ok to have enEmies... i learn moRe in life as i live it.. yea the anime.. the band tt was formed became so popular ~ imagine japanese band topin the charts in US.. coOl huh? sometimes i wonder if i can go into the music industry.. my vocals are still not tt great but with practise u think i will? but voice has been improvin.. the air comin from the trachea is more natural.. one more thing i wanna do b4 this life of my subsides.. to sing somewher infront of ppl.. bar/hotel.. i wanna write my own songs.. and thru those songs tell my stories.. i hav ritten one song.. it was a time when i felt i had no fwens.. had alot of feeling in it.. buT unfortunately the melody has been long forgotten.. lolx.. lyrics still findable.. lolx..

27/7 you dont knoW how much they mean to you until they leave you again n again.. sometimes their presence is at tt time.. not tt important.. buT now.. i feel it is... i should be used to it but i still hold bak those tears.. i tell myself its ok.. but realli the tears jus comE out as if i hav no control.. found a way to stop it from comin ouT.. open ur eyes wide or flare ur nose.. lol.. may look weirD. but while watchin a tv program.. no one sees ya.. so its ok hAha.. must be wonderin who im refering to.. parents jus lefT the countRy again.. realli miss thm again this timE..

and again the house has lost its lifeliness~

lOve, xia0-zhen




Oopshies..
Sunday, July 23, 2006, 7/23/2006 11:03:00 am ♥

mannnn the other post was suppose to be on another private blog... transferinG soOn.. i cant say those things out loud in person coz.. i would jus break down n cry.. hAHhaha.. actualli i did... after i wrote it.. sometimes i wonder how ppl can get angry or sad and tok at the same time.. for me... i stutter and words dun come out n i jus cant remember wat i was goin to say.. thn.. i jus loose every moment i have being angRy or sad... all i do is go my room cry it out.. and its all over - dun need to think about it ever again... wonderful.. only way i express my feeling to ppl.. either type or write letters...

i remember one day me n sarah in science class we use to rite on a piece of paper wat we want to tell each other coz.. no tokin over teacher rite? yea.. so every science class we would do tT.. n i was tellin her one of my many problems.. writing it down.. and holdin bak my tears at the same time... its so sad... i dun understand how and why i feel like tt.. im thinkin of many possiblities bUT none acTuAlli woRk out.. mb im sad becoz i think its sad tt im said? so tt im lookin at myself in a third person view.. i do tt often so.. tt mite be the reason... i realli dunno... but yea.. sorry about the previous post..

welll it is KINDA my holiz noww.. LOLx.. umat test is comin up so yea.. hav to practise tt.. adam seems like he knows wat he's doin.. buT i get confoose which answer it is.. guess tt this umat is goin to be another like last yrs.. bad.. HAhah.. nahh i should practise (^.^) hohoho~

exammmm was on wednesday.. and hmm i hope its ok to plagiarise.. coz.. u kno open book.. aiks.. i hope i dun get penalised... oh weLLssss

soO yeahhh yesTerDayyyy weNT cIty with Ama.. and thN waLKed arOUnddd to find ama's uncles's he's birthDay presenT wah lOlx.. saw alot of nice clOcks.. but its said tt clocks not goOD for bday present? realli meh? HAHhaa.. yeah n we were walking walkingg.. n thN "LEEHOM" i shouTedd... and soo tt led us into the shop called "FEEL 100%" wahhh i felt 100% tt i wanted to buy those jackets.. bEen loOKin for those! COOKERZ i fouND thm! oh tts rite u saw thm HAhaha.. n it was buy one get one FREE tooo~!!! woaH dreaM coME tRueee HehEe~~ n thn we weNT to noRthBriDGEe anad we MEt eVeryOne tHErr~~ yayY~~!! waiting FOR tiFfanyy n TAmm.. thn we went to timezone to fiND out.. the neoprint machine were temporarily unavailable..... -_-;; sooo we walKed bAk down and thNNn splIteD up~~

AmA and Me were goOnna bE loNErs at KaRaOKe buT jiEnni cAmE and SaVe the lOnesomeNess~ YAY! LOLxxx!! hoPE u din gEt boRed =x LOLXx we hoG the mike too mUCh~ heHEe.. yupShhx.. thn afteErrr tt we wENT hoMe lErr takiNG bUSs.. thnn muM dropped jien and ama off thn i dRovE hoME!! yiPPee~ hAhah.. i think the first few days.. u love drivin anD thn.. hahaha it dies off? coz at the moment i oweis want to drive whenever i get the chance to HOHOHOHO~ lOlxx.. gettin better i must sayy haha~ man im gettin realli boastful nowadays HAhAhahhaa.. oH WelLSs.. wonT huRt no onE.. i HOPE.. HAhahaha nEWAYyxx.. yea.. tts about it tt i can rememBEr in mY preCious lIfE i trY vERy harD to KEep in ORdEr... man tts a long sentence.. haHAhaha... OK laaa~~ i shAll go indulge in somE SOUP now.. AHhaha =x feeling soupy.. and noodly.. HEehehhee.. TAkEcAre PEopLess~!!!

Love, xia0zhen




Saturday, July 08, 2006, 7/08/2006 04:59:00 pm ♥


loVe him oRedii~ Posted by Picasa




slackinG OFf
7/08/2006 04:54:00 pm ♥

im so slAck.. cant start work.. winter term isnt such a good idea after all.. LOlx.. i feel like its holiz.. been out omost everyday?!!! damn.. feeling guilty..

LOlx.. guess who im in lOve wiTH?~ HAhahaa... i'll post a picture.. =x HahAa..

lOve at firsT siGht?! hehe




slackinG OFf
7/08/2006 04:54:00 pm ♥

im so slAck.. cant start work.. winter term isnt such a good idea after all.. LOlx.. i feel like its holiz.. been out omost everyday?!!! damn.. feeling guilty..

LOlx.. guess who im in lOve wiTH?~ HAhahaa... i'll post a picture.. =x HahAa..

lOve at firsT siGht?! hehe




uhuh
Thursday, July 06, 2006, 7/06/2006 11:52:00 pm ♥

woah tt was afternoon.. n its oredi omost mid nite n i hate u more..

oh wells.. life goes on.. so bored tonite~~ but evn so.. too lazy to blog anythin of my life..

english went weird jus thn.. LOlx..

"some ppl wait a life time for a moment like this" - - - > keLLy clArkson

im waiting For soMEone oRhx.. siGhh..

james was jus askin me whether i liked goin into bed alone..

sad truth no.. HAhaha.. bros wont let me slp with thm.. AHhaha sometimes i evn sneak in with my mum if i hav the chance... i love tokin n disturbin till i drop dead.. AHha.. its so much warmer with someone too.. sNIff! i wan my granmaaa!!!!!

popo wo ai ni~ *xiAnG ni orh.. cries~*




bak aGain..
7/06/2006 07:09:00 pm ♥

the inevitable truth..

i hate u.
(singular noun..)