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♥jaѕмiиe.
Y,011088.
Learning to live and love every single day.

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out of touch
Thursday, October 21, 2010, 10/21/2010 12:39:00 am ♥

It's been ages since i've written a proper kinda blog..

where do i start..

i miss the free time i had.. life used to be surrounded by the usual people but now it's surrounded by books and lecture notes.. plus a little bit of work.. but i thank god for msn at least.. :) it's still the best way to communicate during times like these~ at least i still feel connected some how..

it's depressing to say this but i think i've lost touch.. maybe im gettin too old for studying.. cant stay up like i used to nemore or mb im jus not that motivated as before.. or just totally burned out ~ i got my first fail and first 50s in my 4 and abit years of uni... it's somewhat demoralizing~ but nevertheless.. i shall persevere.. gotta think at least i passed? i really hope i get thru this course.. pray for me..

at the moment.. life is very stagnant.. i'm lost for words.. i jus did bikram in who knows how long.. it was very stimulating.. i only noticed how much fats i've put on today... omg just i remember my thunder thighs being so much toner before uni started.. oh my... gotta get back into cardio work out :)

there was also the first time i cried infront of people i din kno.. i realli gotta get these feelings sorted.. im so easily stripped off guard nowadays and relying on people.. i really dun like it~ infact i hate this! i actualli felt like i was gettin stronger before.. but now im someone i dun evn kno.. im lettin my guard down too much now T_T im changing in a badddd way ~

it's depressing that i cant think of nethin happy to talk about rite now.. roy punctured a hole in tommy's shoulder.. it bled out.. poor baby.. everything is not goin very well.. i got a friend that just brings out the worst in me.. and im realli hating that.. i get irritated so easily now.. it's a cycle all over again... why cant i just accept the way people are anymore? i know i can.. jus need to stay away from all these bad influences.. or mb im jus suffocating... i think i jus dun like the competition.. i shouldnt care about it.. i find myself tryin to prove that i kno somethings which onli makes me look stupid when i dun.. i think tts my goal again.. not to care so much..

friends.. in terms of friends who are presented problems.. there are those who listen for the sake of knowing.. there are those who listen for the sake of helping.. there are also those who hear you but dun listen... it's just disappointing when u feel that they fall into the 1st n 3rd category..

another thing i thot about... i dun understand how people can live with all the lies they tell.. im glad i have people around me who are understanding enough to take the truth.. coz i dunno.. wouldnt u be lying to urself? how could u live with that? maybe u should teach me so i dun feel so guilty everytime i make something up? how do people do it ? prob requires skills.. skills i dun hav.. coz it oweis backfires T_T

also i need to stop talkin about people behind their backs too~ gosh why isnt nethin ok wid me anymore? i complain too much? sorry to those who are reading this.. its late i should slp~ omg i cant wait till holidays and slp ins :) please bare wid this negativity and ignore it.. i just felt like i needed to spill these feelings out.. thanks for listening tho~

i miss u all.
Jasmine




Monday, October 11, 2010, 10/11/2010 01:17:00 pm ♥

Thoughts of this hectic and busy life

  • distractions i don't need
  • need to exercise
  • so much to do so little time
  • omg! holidays soon!
  • sleepless nights
  • guilt
  • irritable
  • need to find time to walk the dogs
  • i need more air to breathe
  • i miss you
  • it's all worth it..
  • you can do this jasmine!
<3 Jasmine